If you think you’re going insane
If all you can do is cry
If you have trouble with the most minor decisions
If you can’t taste your food or have very little appetite
If you have feelings of rage, envy or depression
If you find yourself enjoying a funny moment and immediately feel guilty
If your friends dwindle away and you feel like you have the plague
If your blood boils and the hairs in your nose curl when someone tells you ‘it’s God’s will’
If you can’t talk about it but you can smash dishes, shred old phone books or kick the rubbish bin (preferably empty) down the street
If you can share your story, your feelings, with an understanding listener, perhaps another bereaved person
That’s a beginning.
If you can get a glimmer of your child’s or partner’s life, rather than his or her death
If you can remember your child’s or partner’s smile
If you can find your mirrors have become windows and you are able to reach out to other bereaved people
The elephant in the room
There’s an elephant in the room. It is large and squatting, so it is hard to get around it. Yet we squeeze by with, ‘How are you? ‘ and ‘I’m fine, ‘ and a thousand other forms of trivial chatter. We talk about the weather. We talk about work. We talk about everything else, except the elephant in the room.
There’s an elephant in the room. We all know it’s there. We are thinking about the elephant as we talk together. It is constantly on our minds. For, you see, it is a very large elephant. It has hurt us all.
But we don’t talk about the elephant in the room. Oh, please say his name. Oh, please say his name again. Oh, please, let’s talk about the elephant in the room.
For if we talk about his death, perhaps we can talk about his life. Can I say his name to you and not have you look away?
For if I cannot, then you are leaving me….
in a room….
with an elephant
To All We Love and Miss So Much
Their the brightest stars in Heaven Never far away Forever in our thoughts We Love them more each day
No more tomorrows for us to share But yesterdays Memories are always there
May the Winds of Love blow gently And Whisper for Them to hear How Much we Love and Miss Them And Wish that They were Still Here
A Letter From Heaven
When tomorrow starts without me. And I’m not here to see. If the sun should rise and find your eyes, filled with tears for me.
I wish so much you wouldn’t cry. The way you did today. While thinking of the many things, We didn’t get to say.
I know how much you love me. As much as I love you. And each time you think of me. I know you’ll miss me too.
When tomorrow starts without me. Don’t think we’re far apart. For every time you think of me. I’m right there in your heart.
Alena Hakala Meadows
The day god took you home
A million times
I’ve needed you
a million times I’ve cried
if love alone
could have saved you
you never would have died
in life i loved you dearly
in death i love you still
in my heart you hold a place
no one else can ever fill
it broke my heart to lose you
but you didn’t go alone
part of me went with you
the day god took you home
10 years ago tonight you died
Your life, to save, in vain, I tried.
That heartless B…… & his sibling scum,
One day, to them, our pain will come.
The pain in our Mother like that knife cuts deep,
God help her, like me, she cannot weep.
You cried out for help to those in power,
At best they were all a F…… shower.
You were ignored, lied to, lied about, maligned,
To your fate you were at last resigned.
Your last days were lived in total dread,
Until finally your heart it bled.
Upon the street where your body fell,
I hope those who helped not all burn in hell.
Your children struggle so much without you,
Especially the older two.
They long for their Mother’s love so much,
Your tender voice, your gentle touch.
Our sister Patricia fights on since you fell,
Our debt to her, words can hardly tell.
Your love for us was so strong, so sweet,
Our hearts they ache with every beat.
Your missed dear Colette each & every day,
Your souls at peace now we hope & pray.
The world was a better place with you,
We treasure those years though precious few.
We hope finally, to with you re-unite,
Until that day day we will battle & fight.
Exist for tomorrow
If murderers were not released
To commit the crime again
How many lives would be saved?
How many would begin
The law does far too little
To protect us from this crime
And I would not be grieving
With a messed up head of slime
I would have a sister
To share my views and thoughts
Instead of feeling numb
And a brain full of noughts
I may even be more pleasant
Smile at friend or foe
And just the slightest chance
To enjoy life, you know
All your friends may care
But they don’t know how you think
The things that irk you daily
And how low your mind can sink
One minute not so bad
The next really down
How quick a friendly smile
Can soon turn to a frown
If you have a friend like me
A victim of this crime
Ask them how they really are
Give them some of your time
Don’t shirk from the subject
Don’t make it taboo
Tell them how you love them
And hope they love you too
One year, ten or twenty
Even many more
We victims feel the pain
And cannot change the score
There’s no life after murder
Only pain and sorrow
All we do is exist
For the pain that’s there tomorrow
I Know You Sleep In Heaven
I Know you sleep in Heaven, and up there dream of me. Waiting there for those you love, Until together we will be. I know that you’re not lonely, in company of angels above. Watching over and protecting, those left behind you love.
All the flowers in the field – an alphabet of Hope
All the flowers in the field
Beauty lying at our feet
Carefree now my darling girl
Dare to be whoever you can be, and dream no more of being free
Echoes of bird song fill the air
Flying swift, abandoned and utterly without boundary
Grief cannot take you; I know that you are always here
How can I love you more when
I know you are within me
Just as the jay bird in the park, waiting for his mate, feeding his young
Knows without saying when to move and when to be still and how to be, then
Love my darling will never die and so neither will you.
Music is sweet and beautiful and caresses and yet the
Nothing, the silence and the stillness that fills the air, a cloud
Perfect. All is perfect and is as it must be.
Quiet now. Feel within, and let love be all that you are.
Rivers run over the stones making them smooth, taking away rough edges until the shape formed is
One of curves
Sharpness eroded, anger rubbed away so that all that is left is beauty.
Take my love with you, and sleep, and wake refreshed as the light comes once more
Up with the dawn and being the sun that shines in through the glass
Vivid and bright as crystal
Wind and water rushes in, the scent of a thousand lilies filling the senses with glory and wonder.
X exit stage left my angel, and wait in the wings
You are always here, and so rest
Zzzzzzz, sleep as all the flowers in the field, and know that I love you.